Your attitudes, thoughts, moods, and behaviors are the products of interactions within and around you. Those interactions are relationships to which you contribute by your own choices. Those relations form systems of interactions back and forth between you, your internal realities, and the realities of the world around you. If one part of the system changes (such as your choices), the whole system must adapt.
If you are having problems inside your systems, then changing your choices and behaviors will change your problems. This means several things.
First, you can treat your problems as something separate and apart from yourself.
Second, while you are responsible for your choices, problems themselves belong to the system. You can only do your part to effect change.
Third, by viewing problems as "outside" yourself, you can see aspects of yourself and/or your problems that free you to develop different understandings and approaches to solving the problems that bother you.
Every therapist has her or his own approach to helping you. It's important to me that you understand my approach. My hope is that with this knowledge you can make a clear choice about what might best work for you.